How is the sentence grammatically incorrect?












-1














Here are two sentences that I have trouble with. The first one was written prior to the second one, and I believe it's not grammatically accurate. However, I have a hard time figuring out what is wrong with it.




  1. I declare and crystallize the idea, as I would not like to think that I had navigated a life void of sophistication and of observation for nearly twenty years without ever getting the hang of it.


  2. I declare and crystallize the idea, as I would not like to think that I had navigated a life void of sophistication and observation without understanding and contemplation for nearly twenty years.



And I would like to know if there's any other way to paraphrase the sentence properly without changing the meaning of it.










share|improve this question
























  • Can you point out exactly what you think the difference is?
    – Mitch
    6 hours ago










  • I didn't want to make a comparison between the two sentences. I just wanted to know how is the first one incorrect. Or neither of them is correct.
    – Kismet
    5 hours ago










  • Kismet, it would help immensely if you pointed out what the exact concern is. Which words or order is the problem you have? I'm doing the tiresome eye exercise of going back and forth between the two sentences and the only difference is 'of'. Is that your concern?
    – Mitch
    5 hours ago
















-1














Here are two sentences that I have trouble with. The first one was written prior to the second one, and I believe it's not grammatically accurate. However, I have a hard time figuring out what is wrong with it.




  1. I declare and crystallize the idea, as I would not like to think that I had navigated a life void of sophistication and of observation for nearly twenty years without ever getting the hang of it.


  2. I declare and crystallize the idea, as I would not like to think that I had navigated a life void of sophistication and observation without understanding and contemplation for nearly twenty years.



And I would like to know if there's any other way to paraphrase the sentence properly without changing the meaning of it.










share|improve this question
























  • Can you point out exactly what you think the difference is?
    – Mitch
    6 hours ago










  • I didn't want to make a comparison between the two sentences. I just wanted to know how is the first one incorrect. Or neither of them is correct.
    – Kismet
    5 hours ago










  • Kismet, it would help immensely if you pointed out what the exact concern is. Which words or order is the problem you have? I'm doing the tiresome eye exercise of going back and forth between the two sentences and the only difference is 'of'. Is that your concern?
    – Mitch
    5 hours ago














-1












-1








-1


1





Here are two sentences that I have trouble with. The first one was written prior to the second one, and I believe it's not grammatically accurate. However, I have a hard time figuring out what is wrong with it.




  1. I declare and crystallize the idea, as I would not like to think that I had navigated a life void of sophistication and of observation for nearly twenty years without ever getting the hang of it.


  2. I declare and crystallize the idea, as I would not like to think that I had navigated a life void of sophistication and observation without understanding and contemplation for nearly twenty years.



And I would like to know if there's any other way to paraphrase the sentence properly without changing the meaning of it.










share|improve this question















Here are two sentences that I have trouble with. The first one was written prior to the second one, and I believe it's not grammatically accurate. However, I have a hard time figuring out what is wrong with it.




  1. I declare and crystallize the idea, as I would not like to think that I had navigated a life void of sophistication and of observation for nearly twenty years without ever getting the hang of it.


  2. I declare and crystallize the idea, as I would not like to think that I had navigated a life void of sophistication and observation without understanding and contemplation for nearly twenty years.



And I would like to know if there's any other way to paraphrase the sentence properly without changing the meaning of it.







sentence-structure complex-sentences sentence-correction






share|improve this question















share|improve this question













share|improve this question




share|improve this question








edited 5 hours ago

























asked 15 hours ago









Kismet

175




175












  • Can you point out exactly what you think the difference is?
    – Mitch
    6 hours ago










  • I didn't want to make a comparison between the two sentences. I just wanted to know how is the first one incorrect. Or neither of them is correct.
    – Kismet
    5 hours ago










  • Kismet, it would help immensely if you pointed out what the exact concern is. Which words or order is the problem you have? I'm doing the tiresome eye exercise of going back and forth between the two sentences and the only difference is 'of'. Is that your concern?
    – Mitch
    5 hours ago


















  • Can you point out exactly what you think the difference is?
    – Mitch
    6 hours ago










  • I didn't want to make a comparison between the two sentences. I just wanted to know how is the first one incorrect. Or neither of them is correct.
    – Kismet
    5 hours ago










  • Kismet, it would help immensely if you pointed out what the exact concern is. Which words or order is the problem you have? I'm doing the tiresome eye exercise of going back and forth between the two sentences and the only difference is 'of'. Is that your concern?
    – Mitch
    5 hours ago
















Can you point out exactly what you think the difference is?
– Mitch
6 hours ago




Can you point out exactly what you think the difference is?
– Mitch
6 hours ago












I didn't want to make a comparison between the two sentences. I just wanted to know how is the first one incorrect. Or neither of them is correct.
– Kismet
5 hours ago




I didn't want to make a comparison between the two sentences. I just wanted to know how is the first one incorrect. Or neither of them is correct.
– Kismet
5 hours ago












Kismet, it would help immensely if you pointed out what the exact concern is. Which words or order is the problem you have? I'm doing the tiresome eye exercise of going back and forth between the two sentences and the only difference is 'of'. Is that your concern?
– Mitch
5 hours ago




Kismet, it would help immensely if you pointed out what the exact concern is. Which words or order is the problem you have? I'm doing the tiresome eye exercise of going back and forth between the two sentences and the only difference is 'of'. Is that your concern?
– Mitch
5 hours ago










2 Answers
2






active

oldest

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0














Your first sentence "if" should be changed to "of".



It has a typo.



Also, you should probably remove the first "as". It's unnecessary.






share|improve this answer





























    -1














    In the first sentence, the third negative idea starts to overload my circuits.



    1) 'i would not like to think'



    2) 'life void of'



    3) 'without ever'



    I get lost... don't want to think I was not stellar at living a void life??? Nah, that can't be it.






    share|improve this answer





















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      2 Answers
      2






      active

      oldest

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      2 Answers
      2






      active

      oldest

      votes









      active

      oldest

      votes






      active

      oldest

      votes









      0














      Your first sentence "if" should be changed to "of".



      It has a typo.



      Also, you should probably remove the first "as". It's unnecessary.






      share|improve this answer


























        0














        Your first sentence "if" should be changed to "of".



        It has a typo.



        Also, you should probably remove the first "as". It's unnecessary.






        share|improve this answer
























          0












          0








          0






          Your first sentence "if" should be changed to "of".



          It has a typo.



          Also, you should probably remove the first "as". It's unnecessary.






          share|improve this answer












          Your first sentence "if" should be changed to "of".



          It has a typo.



          Also, you should probably remove the first "as". It's unnecessary.







          share|improve this answer












          share|improve this answer



          share|improve this answer










          answered 9 hours ago









          Sandwich

          33813




          33813

























              -1














              In the first sentence, the third negative idea starts to overload my circuits.



              1) 'i would not like to think'



              2) 'life void of'



              3) 'without ever'



              I get lost... don't want to think I was not stellar at living a void life??? Nah, that can't be it.






              share|improve this answer


























                -1














                In the first sentence, the third negative idea starts to overload my circuits.



                1) 'i would not like to think'



                2) 'life void of'



                3) 'without ever'



                I get lost... don't want to think I was not stellar at living a void life??? Nah, that can't be it.






                share|improve this answer
























                  -1












                  -1








                  -1






                  In the first sentence, the third negative idea starts to overload my circuits.



                  1) 'i would not like to think'



                  2) 'life void of'



                  3) 'without ever'



                  I get lost... don't want to think I was not stellar at living a void life??? Nah, that can't be it.






                  share|improve this answer












                  In the first sentence, the third negative idea starts to overload my circuits.



                  1) 'i would not like to think'



                  2) 'life void of'



                  3) 'without ever'



                  I get lost... don't want to think I was not stellar at living a void life??? Nah, that can't be it.







                  share|improve this answer












                  share|improve this answer



                  share|improve this answer










                  answered 9 hours ago









                  already puzzled

                  1594




                  1594






























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