New manager is a jerk - is it OK to quit without providing a reason?












8














Imagine you work in a large company, and have had a great time.



After quite some time working with said large company, the manager which hired you - an inspiring, warm, and empowering person - was promoted to work in another country, and instead a new manager was hired.



This manager, now your team leader's boss, hates your guts for reasons outside your control (think stuff like having kids, being "of the wrong race/nationality", etc), and to your amazement your colleagues follow suit - and your workplace is no longer engaging and fun, but mostly a 9-5 pain.



Naturally, it's time to quit. However, as this is a large company, there'll be a leaving interview, maybe a hearing, and a reason will be asked.



Since saying that the reason you quit is because the new manager is a jerk is not really an option, is it OK to quit without giving a direct reason?



If not, what would you do?










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  • 1




    Possible duplicate of Should I tell my boss I'm leaving because of them?
    – gnat
    1 hour ago
















8














Imagine you work in a large company, and have had a great time.



After quite some time working with said large company, the manager which hired you - an inspiring, warm, and empowering person - was promoted to work in another country, and instead a new manager was hired.



This manager, now your team leader's boss, hates your guts for reasons outside your control (think stuff like having kids, being "of the wrong race/nationality", etc), and to your amazement your colleagues follow suit - and your workplace is no longer engaging and fun, but mostly a 9-5 pain.



Naturally, it's time to quit. However, as this is a large company, there'll be a leaving interview, maybe a hearing, and a reason will be asked.



Since saying that the reason you quit is because the new manager is a jerk is not really an option, is it OK to quit without giving a direct reason?



If not, what would you do?










share|improve this question









New contributor




Mike Meyers is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.
















  • 1




    Possible duplicate of Should I tell my boss I'm leaving because of them?
    – gnat
    1 hour ago














8












8








8







Imagine you work in a large company, and have had a great time.



After quite some time working with said large company, the manager which hired you - an inspiring, warm, and empowering person - was promoted to work in another country, and instead a new manager was hired.



This manager, now your team leader's boss, hates your guts for reasons outside your control (think stuff like having kids, being "of the wrong race/nationality", etc), and to your amazement your colleagues follow suit - and your workplace is no longer engaging and fun, but mostly a 9-5 pain.



Naturally, it's time to quit. However, as this is a large company, there'll be a leaving interview, maybe a hearing, and a reason will be asked.



Since saying that the reason you quit is because the new manager is a jerk is not really an option, is it OK to quit without giving a direct reason?



If not, what would you do?










share|improve this question









New contributor




Mike Meyers is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.











Imagine you work in a large company, and have had a great time.



After quite some time working with said large company, the manager which hired you - an inspiring, warm, and empowering person - was promoted to work in another country, and instead a new manager was hired.



This manager, now your team leader's boss, hates your guts for reasons outside your control (think stuff like having kids, being "of the wrong race/nationality", etc), and to your amazement your colleagues follow suit - and your workplace is no longer engaging and fun, but mostly a 9-5 pain.



Naturally, it's time to quit. However, as this is a large company, there'll be a leaving interview, maybe a hearing, and a reason will be asked.



Since saying that the reason you quit is because the new manager is a jerk is not really an option, is it OK to quit without giving a direct reason?



If not, what would you do?







job-change resignation stress






share|improve this question









New contributor




Mike Meyers is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.











share|improve this question









New contributor




Mike Meyers is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.









share|improve this question




share|improve this question








edited 1 hour ago





















New contributor




Mike Meyers is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.









asked 3 hours ago









Mike Meyers

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442




New contributor




Mike Meyers is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.





New contributor





Mike Meyers is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.






Mike Meyers is a new contributor to this site. Take care in asking for clarification, commenting, and answering.
Check out our Code of Conduct.








  • 1




    Possible duplicate of Should I tell my boss I'm leaving because of them?
    – gnat
    1 hour ago














  • 1




    Possible duplicate of Should I tell my boss I'm leaving because of them?
    – gnat
    1 hour ago








1




1




Possible duplicate of Should I tell my boss I'm leaving because of them?
– gnat
1 hour ago




Possible duplicate of Should I tell my boss I'm leaving because of them?
– gnat
1 hour ago










1 Answer
1






active

oldest

votes


















13














While turning around in an exit interview and saying you're leaving because your new manager is an arse (been there, done that), it doesn't achieve anything when said directly.



The question why are you leaving is for them to get feedback on why employees leave, not for you to justify why you're leaving. You could turn around and say "No reason" and that would be perfectly fine, they aren't going to block the doors.



In my case, as mentioned above, I spoke out very candidly about the manager that was causing me to quit. I knew, between other colleagues, that others would be quitting because of him in the future too. I'll blank out the harsh language, but here's how that conversation went:




Manager: Why are you leaving?



Me: Because [other manager] is a condescending [swear word]. He gets aggressive, talks down to you and sets you up to fail, all the while gaslighting you into thinking it's your fault you're being screamed at. I have more self respect than to be spoken to that way.



Manager: Okay thanks...




Next day at 9:03 I get pulled into the meeting room and told that I'm being sent on garden leave because I'm a disruption to other employees.



This is relevant to you because I spoke out that way to try to change the [other manager] so it didn't affect other employees and everyone could just carry on a little bit happier.



Want to know what happened?



The employees quit, the manager never changed, and I burnt a bridge and don't have a reference from that company. Explaining all that in interviews for the following 2 weeks wasn't fun, nor was it worth it.



If you want my advice, just say something canned ("I'm looking for other opportunities" etc) and move on. You'll get a solid reference from them, have a few years experience on your CV and be fine.






share|improve this answer





















  • A canned response that is closer to the truth is often a good idea too "After (manager 1) left I no longer feel like a fit in the team" is both neutral and true.
    – Borgh
    1 hour ago










  • A comment like that, while neutral, will spark more in-depth questions (even a simple "why") which could bring you back full circle.
    – Jay Gould
    50 mins ago










  • That is true, but so can a blatant lie. I'd prefer to deflect the followup to a near-truth (you can always trot out another canned response) than one to something unrelated.
    – Borgh
    45 mins ago











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1 Answer
1






active

oldest

votes








1 Answer
1






active

oldest

votes









active

oldest

votes






active

oldest

votes









13














While turning around in an exit interview and saying you're leaving because your new manager is an arse (been there, done that), it doesn't achieve anything when said directly.



The question why are you leaving is for them to get feedback on why employees leave, not for you to justify why you're leaving. You could turn around and say "No reason" and that would be perfectly fine, they aren't going to block the doors.



In my case, as mentioned above, I spoke out very candidly about the manager that was causing me to quit. I knew, between other colleagues, that others would be quitting because of him in the future too. I'll blank out the harsh language, but here's how that conversation went:




Manager: Why are you leaving?



Me: Because [other manager] is a condescending [swear word]. He gets aggressive, talks down to you and sets you up to fail, all the while gaslighting you into thinking it's your fault you're being screamed at. I have more self respect than to be spoken to that way.



Manager: Okay thanks...




Next day at 9:03 I get pulled into the meeting room and told that I'm being sent on garden leave because I'm a disruption to other employees.



This is relevant to you because I spoke out that way to try to change the [other manager] so it didn't affect other employees and everyone could just carry on a little bit happier.



Want to know what happened?



The employees quit, the manager never changed, and I burnt a bridge and don't have a reference from that company. Explaining all that in interviews for the following 2 weeks wasn't fun, nor was it worth it.



If you want my advice, just say something canned ("I'm looking for other opportunities" etc) and move on. You'll get a solid reference from them, have a few years experience on your CV and be fine.






share|improve this answer





















  • A canned response that is closer to the truth is often a good idea too "After (manager 1) left I no longer feel like a fit in the team" is both neutral and true.
    – Borgh
    1 hour ago










  • A comment like that, while neutral, will spark more in-depth questions (even a simple "why") which could bring you back full circle.
    – Jay Gould
    50 mins ago










  • That is true, but so can a blatant lie. I'd prefer to deflect the followup to a near-truth (you can always trot out another canned response) than one to something unrelated.
    – Borgh
    45 mins ago
















13














While turning around in an exit interview and saying you're leaving because your new manager is an arse (been there, done that), it doesn't achieve anything when said directly.



The question why are you leaving is for them to get feedback on why employees leave, not for you to justify why you're leaving. You could turn around and say "No reason" and that would be perfectly fine, they aren't going to block the doors.



In my case, as mentioned above, I spoke out very candidly about the manager that was causing me to quit. I knew, between other colleagues, that others would be quitting because of him in the future too. I'll blank out the harsh language, but here's how that conversation went:




Manager: Why are you leaving?



Me: Because [other manager] is a condescending [swear word]. He gets aggressive, talks down to you and sets you up to fail, all the while gaslighting you into thinking it's your fault you're being screamed at. I have more self respect than to be spoken to that way.



Manager: Okay thanks...




Next day at 9:03 I get pulled into the meeting room and told that I'm being sent on garden leave because I'm a disruption to other employees.



This is relevant to you because I spoke out that way to try to change the [other manager] so it didn't affect other employees and everyone could just carry on a little bit happier.



Want to know what happened?



The employees quit, the manager never changed, and I burnt a bridge and don't have a reference from that company. Explaining all that in interviews for the following 2 weeks wasn't fun, nor was it worth it.



If you want my advice, just say something canned ("I'm looking for other opportunities" etc) and move on. You'll get a solid reference from them, have a few years experience on your CV and be fine.






share|improve this answer





















  • A canned response that is closer to the truth is often a good idea too "After (manager 1) left I no longer feel like a fit in the team" is both neutral and true.
    – Borgh
    1 hour ago










  • A comment like that, while neutral, will spark more in-depth questions (even a simple "why") which could bring you back full circle.
    – Jay Gould
    50 mins ago










  • That is true, but so can a blatant lie. I'd prefer to deflect the followup to a near-truth (you can always trot out another canned response) than one to something unrelated.
    – Borgh
    45 mins ago














13












13








13






While turning around in an exit interview and saying you're leaving because your new manager is an arse (been there, done that), it doesn't achieve anything when said directly.



The question why are you leaving is for them to get feedback on why employees leave, not for you to justify why you're leaving. You could turn around and say "No reason" and that would be perfectly fine, they aren't going to block the doors.



In my case, as mentioned above, I spoke out very candidly about the manager that was causing me to quit. I knew, between other colleagues, that others would be quitting because of him in the future too. I'll blank out the harsh language, but here's how that conversation went:




Manager: Why are you leaving?



Me: Because [other manager] is a condescending [swear word]. He gets aggressive, talks down to you and sets you up to fail, all the while gaslighting you into thinking it's your fault you're being screamed at. I have more self respect than to be spoken to that way.



Manager: Okay thanks...




Next day at 9:03 I get pulled into the meeting room and told that I'm being sent on garden leave because I'm a disruption to other employees.



This is relevant to you because I spoke out that way to try to change the [other manager] so it didn't affect other employees and everyone could just carry on a little bit happier.



Want to know what happened?



The employees quit, the manager never changed, and I burnt a bridge and don't have a reference from that company. Explaining all that in interviews for the following 2 weeks wasn't fun, nor was it worth it.



If you want my advice, just say something canned ("I'm looking for other opportunities" etc) and move on. You'll get a solid reference from them, have a few years experience on your CV and be fine.






share|improve this answer












While turning around in an exit interview and saying you're leaving because your new manager is an arse (been there, done that), it doesn't achieve anything when said directly.



The question why are you leaving is for them to get feedback on why employees leave, not for you to justify why you're leaving. You could turn around and say "No reason" and that would be perfectly fine, they aren't going to block the doors.



In my case, as mentioned above, I spoke out very candidly about the manager that was causing me to quit. I knew, between other colleagues, that others would be quitting because of him in the future too. I'll blank out the harsh language, but here's how that conversation went:




Manager: Why are you leaving?



Me: Because [other manager] is a condescending [swear word]. He gets aggressive, talks down to you and sets you up to fail, all the while gaslighting you into thinking it's your fault you're being screamed at. I have more self respect than to be spoken to that way.



Manager: Okay thanks...




Next day at 9:03 I get pulled into the meeting room and told that I'm being sent on garden leave because I'm a disruption to other employees.



This is relevant to you because I spoke out that way to try to change the [other manager] so it didn't affect other employees and everyone could just carry on a little bit happier.



Want to know what happened?



The employees quit, the manager never changed, and I burnt a bridge and don't have a reference from that company. Explaining all that in interviews for the following 2 weeks wasn't fun, nor was it worth it.



If you want my advice, just say something canned ("I'm looking for other opportunities" etc) and move on. You'll get a solid reference from them, have a few years experience on your CV and be fine.







share|improve this answer












share|improve this answer



share|improve this answer










answered 2 hours ago









Jay Gould

1,3491512




1,3491512












  • A canned response that is closer to the truth is often a good idea too "After (manager 1) left I no longer feel like a fit in the team" is both neutral and true.
    – Borgh
    1 hour ago










  • A comment like that, while neutral, will spark more in-depth questions (even a simple "why") which could bring you back full circle.
    – Jay Gould
    50 mins ago










  • That is true, but so can a blatant lie. I'd prefer to deflect the followup to a near-truth (you can always trot out another canned response) than one to something unrelated.
    – Borgh
    45 mins ago


















  • A canned response that is closer to the truth is often a good idea too "After (manager 1) left I no longer feel like a fit in the team" is both neutral and true.
    – Borgh
    1 hour ago










  • A comment like that, while neutral, will spark more in-depth questions (even a simple "why") which could bring you back full circle.
    – Jay Gould
    50 mins ago










  • That is true, but so can a blatant lie. I'd prefer to deflect the followup to a near-truth (you can always trot out another canned response) than one to something unrelated.
    – Borgh
    45 mins ago
















A canned response that is closer to the truth is often a good idea too "After (manager 1) left I no longer feel like a fit in the team" is both neutral and true.
– Borgh
1 hour ago




A canned response that is closer to the truth is often a good idea too "After (manager 1) left I no longer feel like a fit in the team" is both neutral and true.
– Borgh
1 hour ago












A comment like that, while neutral, will spark more in-depth questions (even a simple "why") which could bring you back full circle.
– Jay Gould
50 mins ago




A comment like that, while neutral, will spark more in-depth questions (even a simple "why") which could bring you back full circle.
– Jay Gould
50 mins ago












That is true, but so can a blatant lie. I'd prefer to deflect the followup to a near-truth (you can always trot out another canned response) than one to something unrelated.
– Borgh
45 mins ago




That is true, but so can a blatant lie. I'd prefer to deflect the followup to a near-truth (you can always trot out another canned response) than one to something unrelated.
– Borgh
45 mins ago










Mike Meyers is a new contributor. Be nice, and check out our Code of Conduct.










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