How to dodge/answer when an interviewer asks personal questions?












12














Indian female here, residing in India. Been attending technical interviews and there were a few where one or two personal questions were popped up right at the beginning. They didn't make me uncomfortable per se, but made me think 'Why is this even important?'



A few of these are :




  • Where are you from? This/that city or this/that region? (I am residing in the same city as the company and there is no question of relocation)

  • How can you manage your family, kids and work if you are willing to join our organization? (It has regular office timings; nothing like working in US/UK shift)


  • Do you have kids?


Kindly remember that here in India, people get personal very easily and there is nothing illegal about such questions as considered in the other countries.



As much as I wish that the discussion was purely technical, I understand that I cannot change what is being asked. All I want to reply is, 'I am here for a technical discussion and do not want to get into my personal details.'



My question is how do I put across this thought in a diplomatic way so that I am not asked about these further?



I am stressing it here; a few recruiters and interviewers get personal very quickly and get offended very quickly too. Yes, I am glad that I do not work for them. But, I want to reply in a smooth manner as well.










share|improve this question





























    12














    Indian female here, residing in India. Been attending technical interviews and there were a few where one or two personal questions were popped up right at the beginning. They didn't make me uncomfortable per se, but made me think 'Why is this even important?'



    A few of these are :




    • Where are you from? This/that city or this/that region? (I am residing in the same city as the company and there is no question of relocation)

    • How can you manage your family, kids and work if you are willing to join our organization? (It has regular office timings; nothing like working in US/UK shift)


    • Do you have kids?


    Kindly remember that here in India, people get personal very easily and there is nothing illegal about such questions as considered in the other countries.



    As much as I wish that the discussion was purely technical, I understand that I cannot change what is being asked. All I want to reply is, 'I am here for a technical discussion and do not want to get into my personal details.'



    My question is how do I put across this thought in a diplomatic way so that I am not asked about these further?



    I am stressing it here; a few recruiters and interviewers get personal very quickly and get offended very quickly too. Yes, I am glad that I do not work for them. But, I want to reply in a smooth manner as well.










    share|improve this question



























      12












      12








      12







      Indian female here, residing in India. Been attending technical interviews and there were a few where one or two personal questions were popped up right at the beginning. They didn't make me uncomfortable per se, but made me think 'Why is this even important?'



      A few of these are :




      • Where are you from? This/that city or this/that region? (I am residing in the same city as the company and there is no question of relocation)

      • How can you manage your family, kids and work if you are willing to join our organization? (It has regular office timings; nothing like working in US/UK shift)


      • Do you have kids?


      Kindly remember that here in India, people get personal very easily and there is nothing illegal about such questions as considered in the other countries.



      As much as I wish that the discussion was purely technical, I understand that I cannot change what is being asked. All I want to reply is, 'I am here for a technical discussion and do not want to get into my personal details.'



      My question is how do I put across this thought in a diplomatic way so that I am not asked about these further?



      I am stressing it here; a few recruiters and interviewers get personal very quickly and get offended very quickly too. Yes, I am glad that I do not work for them. But, I want to reply in a smooth manner as well.










      share|improve this question















      Indian female here, residing in India. Been attending technical interviews and there were a few where one or two personal questions were popped up right at the beginning. They didn't make me uncomfortable per se, but made me think 'Why is this even important?'



      A few of these are :




      • Where are you from? This/that city or this/that region? (I am residing in the same city as the company and there is no question of relocation)

      • How can you manage your family, kids and work if you are willing to join our organization? (It has regular office timings; nothing like working in US/UK shift)


      • Do you have kids?


      Kindly remember that here in India, people get personal very easily and there is nothing illegal about such questions as considered in the other countries.



      As much as I wish that the discussion was purely technical, I understand that I cannot change what is being asked. All I want to reply is, 'I am here for a technical discussion and do not want to get into my personal details.'



      My question is how do I put across this thought in a diplomatic way so that I am not asked about these further?



      I am stressing it here; a few recruiters and interviewers get personal very quickly and get offended very quickly too. Yes, I am glad that I do not work for them. But, I want to reply in a smooth manner as well.







      interviewing india personal-questions






      share|improve this question















      share|improve this question













      share|improve this question




      share|improve this question








      edited 1 hour ago









      terdon

      1365




      1365










      asked 5 hours ago









      WonderWoman

      1,1691617




      1,1691617






















          1 Answer
          1






          active

          oldest

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          14














          While I am not Indian, I am familiar with the culture and how personal it is, and how offense is given and taken.



          The best solution is to either be brief, and say "I do not think this will be an issue" or something like that to any personal inquiry, or to bury them in details, then change the subject.



          Example:




          Where are you from.




          A: I am local




          How can you manage your family.. etc




          A: I do not think that will be an issue, as I have been working for some time and managing it all quite well.



          or, alternatively......



          A: Well, the youngest one is in school right now, and is doing very well, science is her favorite subject, she got excellent grades last year and is doing quite well this year as well, the oldest prefers math and will likely be looking into physics as a career some day. My spouse and I coordinate quite well in all of these things....



          and drag it on for some time being vague, but verbose.



          Judge which approach works best on a case by case basis. If time is a concern with the interviewer, they will stop asking personal questions if you drag out the answers. If the brief approach works, use that and complete the answer by dragging it back to your skill set.




          Where are you from?




          I am local, and I have been working in this industry for X years. My last employer was pleased with the fact that I delivered the widget project on time and under budget....



          Either approach is a good way to be assertive, keep them from getting too deep into your personal life, and keeping from offending as well.




          Do you have kids?




          A: I believe family is important, which is why I want to work for you. I know you have a strong commitment to your employees and their families.






          share|improve this answer























          • Pretty cool replies. I am mugging them up. There was another very personal question? 'Do you have kids?'. I am like, why God, why? I do not want my interviewer to know answer for that. How should I (not)reply to that?
            – WonderWoman
            4 hours ago






          • 1




            @WonderWoman just added a response to that. If you are ever cornered, and must answer, or offend, answer and then drag it right back to promoting yourself without giving them time to follow up on the personal question.
            – Richard U
            4 hours ago






          • 2




            I so admire you for these answers. I can't wait to use these replies. I know I cannot avoid such questions; but answering them tactfully is important too. Thank you so much.
            – WonderWoman
            4 hours ago








          • 1




            Is the point of "drag it on for some time being vague, but verbose.", to simply to make them unwilling to ask another because you are boring? Or is it so you can make them feel like they have satisfied their (possibly subconcious) quota for personal small talk? Or for some other reason.
            – Lyndon White
            2 hours ago






          • 1




            @LyndonWhite Any and all of the above
            – Richard U
            1 hour ago











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          1 Answer
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          1 Answer
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          active

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          active

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          14














          While I am not Indian, I am familiar with the culture and how personal it is, and how offense is given and taken.



          The best solution is to either be brief, and say "I do not think this will be an issue" or something like that to any personal inquiry, or to bury them in details, then change the subject.



          Example:




          Where are you from.




          A: I am local




          How can you manage your family.. etc




          A: I do not think that will be an issue, as I have been working for some time and managing it all quite well.



          or, alternatively......



          A: Well, the youngest one is in school right now, and is doing very well, science is her favorite subject, she got excellent grades last year and is doing quite well this year as well, the oldest prefers math and will likely be looking into physics as a career some day. My spouse and I coordinate quite well in all of these things....



          and drag it on for some time being vague, but verbose.



          Judge which approach works best on a case by case basis. If time is a concern with the interviewer, they will stop asking personal questions if you drag out the answers. If the brief approach works, use that and complete the answer by dragging it back to your skill set.




          Where are you from?




          I am local, and I have been working in this industry for X years. My last employer was pleased with the fact that I delivered the widget project on time and under budget....



          Either approach is a good way to be assertive, keep them from getting too deep into your personal life, and keeping from offending as well.




          Do you have kids?




          A: I believe family is important, which is why I want to work for you. I know you have a strong commitment to your employees and their families.






          share|improve this answer























          • Pretty cool replies. I am mugging them up. There was another very personal question? 'Do you have kids?'. I am like, why God, why? I do not want my interviewer to know answer for that. How should I (not)reply to that?
            – WonderWoman
            4 hours ago






          • 1




            @WonderWoman just added a response to that. If you are ever cornered, and must answer, or offend, answer and then drag it right back to promoting yourself without giving them time to follow up on the personal question.
            – Richard U
            4 hours ago






          • 2




            I so admire you for these answers. I can't wait to use these replies. I know I cannot avoid such questions; but answering them tactfully is important too. Thank you so much.
            – WonderWoman
            4 hours ago








          • 1




            Is the point of "drag it on for some time being vague, but verbose.", to simply to make them unwilling to ask another because you are boring? Or is it so you can make them feel like they have satisfied their (possibly subconcious) quota for personal small talk? Or for some other reason.
            – Lyndon White
            2 hours ago






          • 1




            @LyndonWhite Any and all of the above
            – Richard U
            1 hour ago
















          14














          While I am not Indian, I am familiar with the culture and how personal it is, and how offense is given and taken.



          The best solution is to either be brief, and say "I do not think this will be an issue" or something like that to any personal inquiry, or to bury them in details, then change the subject.



          Example:




          Where are you from.




          A: I am local




          How can you manage your family.. etc




          A: I do not think that will be an issue, as I have been working for some time and managing it all quite well.



          or, alternatively......



          A: Well, the youngest one is in school right now, and is doing very well, science is her favorite subject, she got excellent grades last year and is doing quite well this year as well, the oldest prefers math and will likely be looking into physics as a career some day. My spouse and I coordinate quite well in all of these things....



          and drag it on for some time being vague, but verbose.



          Judge which approach works best on a case by case basis. If time is a concern with the interviewer, they will stop asking personal questions if you drag out the answers. If the brief approach works, use that and complete the answer by dragging it back to your skill set.




          Where are you from?




          I am local, and I have been working in this industry for X years. My last employer was pleased with the fact that I delivered the widget project on time and under budget....



          Either approach is a good way to be assertive, keep them from getting too deep into your personal life, and keeping from offending as well.




          Do you have kids?




          A: I believe family is important, which is why I want to work for you. I know you have a strong commitment to your employees and their families.






          share|improve this answer























          • Pretty cool replies. I am mugging them up. There was another very personal question? 'Do you have kids?'. I am like, why God, why? I do not want my interviewer to know answer for that. How should I (not)reply to that?
            – WonderWoman
            4 hours ago






          • 1




            @WonderWoman just added a response to that. If you are ever cornered, and must answer, or offend, answer and then drag it right back to promoting yourself without giving them time to follow up on the personal question.
            – Richard U
            4 hours ago






          • 2




            I so admire you for these answers. I can't wait to use these replies. I know I cannot avoid such questions; but answering them tactfully is important too. Thank you so much.
            – WonderWoman
            4 hours ago








          • 1




            Is the point of "drag it on for some time being vague, but verbose.", to simply to make them unwilling to ask another because you are boring? Or is it so you can make them feel like they have satisfied their (possibly subconcious) quota for personal small talk? Or for some other reason.
            – Lyndon White
            2 hours ago






          • 1




            @LyndonWhite Any and all of the above
            – Richard U
            1 hour ago














          14












          14








          14






          While I am not Indian, I am familiar with the culture and how personal it is, and how offense is given and taken.



          The best solution is to either be brief, and say "I do not think this will be an issue" or something like that to any personal inquiry, or to bury them in details, then change the subject.



          Example:




          Where are you from.




          A: I am local




          How can you manage your family.. etc




          A: I do not think that will be an issue, as I have been working for some time and managing it all quite well.



          or, alternatively......



          A: Well, the youngest one is in school right now, and is doing very well, science is her favorite subject, she got excellent grades last year and is doing quite well this year as well, the oldest prefers math and will likely be looking into physics as a career some day. My spouse and I coordinate quite well in all of these things....



          and drag it on for some time being vague, but verbose.



          Judge which approach works best on a case by case basis. If time is a concern with the interviewer, they will stop asking personal questions if you drag out the answers. If the brief approach works, use that and complete the answer by dragging it back to your skill set.




          Where are you from?




          I am local, and I have been working in this industry for X years. My last employer was pleased with the fact that I delivered the widget project on time and under budget....



          Either approach is a good way to be assertive, keep them from getting too deep into your personal life, and keeping from offending as well.




          Do you have kids?




          A: I believe family is important, which is why I want to work for you. I know you have a strong commitment to your employees and their families.






          share|improve this answer














          While I am not Indian, I am familiar with the culture and how personal it is, and how offense is given and taken.



          The best solution is to either be brief, and say "I do not think this will be an issue" or something like that to any personal inquiry, or to bury them in details, then change the subject.



          Example:




          Where are you from.




          A: I am local




          How can you manage your family.. etc




          A: I do not think that will be an issue, as I have been working for some time and managing it all quite well.



          or, alternatively......



          A: Well, the youngest one is in school right now, and is doing very well, science is her favorite subject, she got excellent grades last year and is doing quite well this year as well, the oldest prefers math and will likely be looking into physics as a career some day. My spouse and I coordinate quite well in all of these things....



          and drag it on for some time being vague, but verbose.



          Judge which approach works best on a case by case basis. If time is a concern with the interviewer, they will stop asking personal questions if you drag out the answers. If the brief approach works, use that and complete the answer by dragging it back to your skill set.




          Where are you from?




          I am local, and I have been working in this industry for X years. My last employer was pleased with the fact that I delivered the widget project on time and under budget....



          Either approach is a good way to be assertive, keep them from getting too deep into your personal life, and keeping from offending as well.




          Do you have kids?




          A: I believe family is important, which is why I want to work for you. I know you have a strong commitment to your employees and their families.







          share|improve this answer














          share|improve this answer



          share|improve this answer








          edited 4 hours ago

























          answered 5 hours ago









          Richard U

          87k63219338




          87k63219338












          • Pretty cool replies. I am mugging them up. There was another very personal question? 'Do you have kids?'. I am like, why God, why? I do not want my interviewer to know answer for that. How should I (not)reply to that?
            – WonderWoman
            4 hours ago






          • 1




            @WonderWoman just added a response to that. If you are ever cornered, and must answer, or offend, answer and then drag it right back to promoting yourself without giving them time to follow up on the personal question.
            – Richard U
            4 hours ago






          • 2




            I so admire you for these answers. I can't wait to use these replies. I know I cannot avoid such questions; but answering them tactfully is important too. Thank you so much.
            – WonderWoman
            4 hours ago








          • 1




            Is the point of "drag it on for some time being vague, but verbose.", to simply to make them unwilling to ask another because you are boring? Or is it so you can make them feel like they have satisfied their (possibly subconcious) quota for personal small talk? Or for some other reason.
            – Lyndon White
            2 hours ago






          • 1




            @LyndonWhite Any and all of the above
            – Richard U
            1 hour ago


















          • Pretty cool replies. I am mugging them up. There was another very personal question? 'Do you have kids?'. I am like, why God, why? I do not want my interviewer to know answer for that. How should I (not)reply to that?
            – WonderWoman
            4 hours ago






          • 1




            @WonderWoman just added a response to that. If you are ever cornered, and must answer, or offend, answer and then drag it right back to promoting yourself without giving them time to follow up on the personal question.
            – Richard U
            4 hours ago






          • 2




            I so admire you for these answers. I can't wait to use these replies. I know I cannot avoid such questions; but answering them tactfully is important too. Thank you so much.
            – WonderWoman
            4 hours ago








          • 1




            Is the point of "drag it on for some time being vague, but verbose.", to simply to make them unwilling to ask another because you are boring? Or is it so you can make them feel like they have satisfied their (possibly subconcious) quota for personal small talk? Or for some other reason.
            – Lyndon White
            2 hours ago






          • 1




            @LyndonWhite Any and all of the above
            – Richard U
            1 hour ago
















          Pretty cool replies. I am mugging them up. There was another very personal question? 'Do you have kids?'. I am like, why God, why? I do not want my interviewer to know answer for that. How should I (not)reply to that?
          – WonderWoman
          4 hours ago




          Pretty cool replies. I am mugging them up. There was another very personal question? 'Do you have kids?'. I am like, why God, why? I do not want my interviewer to know answer for that. How should I (not)reply to that?
          – WonderWoman
          4 hours ago




          1




          1




          @WonderWoman just added a response to that. If you are ever cornered, and must answer, or offend, answer and then drag it right back to promoting yourself without giving them time to follow up on the personal question.
          – Richard U
          4 hours ago




          @WonderWoman just added a response to that. If you are ever cornered, and must answer, or offend, answer and then drag it right back to promoting yourself without giving them time to follow up on the personal question.
          – Richard U
          4 hours ago




          2




          2




          I so admire you for these answers. I can't wait to use these replies. I know I cannot avoid such questions; but answering them tactfully is important too. Thank you so much.
          – WonderWoman
          4 hours ago






          I so admire you for these answers. I can't wait to use these replies. I know I cannot avoid such questions; but answering them tactfully is important too. Thank you so much.
          – WonderWoman
          4 hours ago






          1




          1




          Is the point of "drag it on for some time being vague, but verbose.", to simply to make them unwilling to ask another because you are boring? Or is it so you can make them feel like they have satisfied their (possibly subconcious) quota for personal small talk? Or for some other reason.
          – Lyndon White
          2 hours ago




          Is the point of "drag it on for some time being vague, but verbose.", to simply to make them unwilling to ask another because you are boring? Or is it so you can make them feel like they have satisfied their (possibly subconcious) quota for personal small talk? Or for some other reason.
          – Lyndon White
          2 hours ago




          1




          1




          @LyndonWhite Any and all of the above
          – Richard U
          1 hour ago




          @LyndonWhite Any and all of the above
          – Richard U
          1 hour ago


















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